The Fourth Trimester: Body Image
Ok let's be honest for a moment. Pregnancy means 9 months of your body not being your own. Watching it change and transform can be tough but it's often celebrated as a " miracle ". People encourage you to " eat for 2" and weight gain is pacified as an outward sign that all is well with baby. Then comes the 4th trimester. Postpartum all you hear about is the " snap back". The pressure to drop 9 months of weight gain and body change as quickly as possible can be overwhelming. Add in being a C-section momma and this abdominal scar is a reminder that physical activity is still just beyond my reach. For me after losing 40 lbs of medication and depression induced weight gain last year this baby weight has been a blow I had to make peace with daily. It was so hard to embrace my pregnant belly knowing how hard it may be to get back to me. Little did I realize that my new body after my daughter's birth would be nothing like my pre baby body and I have to learn what that means. This weekend at 4 weeks Postpartum I took off my milk stained shirt and sweats ( s/o breastfeeding moms) , put some foundation on these bags under my eyes ( coming off my daughter cluster feeding this week so sleep deprived lol) , and slid on the first pair of heels I've worn this year and stepped out with my sisters and best friends for the first time. I was nervous, critical, and felt like things were moving that never moved before. My breast had pads under my dress to protect from leaks, and I swore more than once my ankles may give out but remembering that moment when my husband walked past me in the mirror and called me beautiful I danced, laughed, and allowed myself to be admired for the first time in so long.
This time in my life is crazy and when I am being pooped on by my newborn it's hard to feel beautiful but to every woman that has ever been where I am or will be I say your body has transcended. You brought forth life while looking death in the face. Your body grew, sustained and nurtured. Though it may look and feel different than before your body is that of a goddess and when you feel outside yourself hear me telling you that you are God's grace manifested. Your beauty runs deeper than any eye can see and your glow will never fade. I love you queens...
Xoxo
#PostpartumJourney
